The unseen mayhem

After all this time, all those moments that made us more intimate after each of them passing,

your way of talking to me

your changed tone

your words constantly pushing me away

my sincere and desperate efforts to stay close

just turning out to be acts making you drift away more

there was an ultimate pain which i used to hide

everyday i wore a smile

just to look fine

not giving a single chance to anyone to notice

even you being this near

couldn't see how is the pain that i bear

i looked calm

with all this chaos in my head

the storm in my heart

i remember going to washroom

just to cry

my shower took long than usual

featuring those weeping sessions

O God! i tried i tried i tried

i tried so hard that it ripped me

it ripped my chest

i still failed

my tries comprised the devotion of my being 

but i couldn't bring the things to normal 

you were never able to see beyond my skin 

the disaster i went through 

the devastation that fell upon me 

the pieces in which i was broken into 

still i ran behind you

chased you 

loved you

but you couldn't see

and i know you will never be able to decipher 

until you go through the exact same 

but you won't 

because i pray for you 

that you never have to understand all this 

and i will just keep all this suffering to me

its a secret of me and you 

though you don't know it deep like i do

and like all those secrets we shared

this will remain safe with me.

-the unseen mayhem